I was talking with my landlady after our dinner together. She asked me what I have learned so far during my stay in Taiwan this past year. I quickly answered that I learned to wait on God, to be with Him rather than doing things for Him.
Though it might sound like a very simple lesson, but in its actuality, waiting on God is very hard. Our culture dictates us that the more thing we do then more valuable we are. The more thing that you could do or get done, then the more useful you are. I don't think I am the only one who brings this mindset into our personal relationship with God.
There are 3 possible underlying motives when we do things for God :
1. We do it out of our love for God . There is, of course, nothing wrong with this... Everything we do have to flow out of our love relationship with God. We do things because we love Him.. and not the other way around.
2. We do things so that God will see us under a more favorable light. In a way , we do all the things that we do because we want to make sure that God likes us, loves us, etc.
3. We do things to 'escape' from God's wrath, i.e. buying our salvation. Although this might sound ridiculous to those of you who have already accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You know that you are saved by your faith in Christ and not by your deeds. Well, let me ask you a question.. when you fall into temptation and sin against God, do you think God still like you? Do you think God still loves you? If there's even a hint of a doubt in your heart, then I would suggest to pray to God that He will reveal what it means to live under His grace. Let the words " saved by grace and not by deeds" to truly come alive for you..
Don't get me wrong! Just because I am writing all of these it doesn't mean that I've got it all figured out. I am definitely learning, but I still need God's Spirit to carve it upon the wall of my heart so that I will never forget this one thing : I am saved by grace and none of things that I do could make God love me less or love me more. His love is perfect and I am forever His daughter.
One thing that we need to remember is the fact that when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, not only we are saved from eternal damnation, we are also adopted into God's family. He adopted us into His family and calls us His own sons and daughters. Our status is now sons and daughters of the King of the universe.
If I were to ask how many Christians who read my blog actually know about this concept to raise their hands, I am pretty sure that there are probably so many of you who raise your hands. But the thing is, it is not about what you know, rather than it's about what you believe. When you believe it , then the next step would be how you live out loud that truth.
A lot of us, although know that ourselves are the sons and daughters of the King, somehow live like paupers. We are still living with a sense of helplessness, directionless, confusion, and unbelief. Rather than believing that our good Heavenly Father could provide the best that He could give for us, we keep worrying and worrying and worrying. Rather than asking God for miracles and supernatural things to happen our lives, we drown ourselves in the sea of helplessness as if God is powerless while our mouth singing the song " Nothing is impossible for our Lord ". Isn't this laughable? Or shall I say... sad?
If we are to fulfill our destiny, that it is crucial for us to truly know our identity in Christ. You cannot find your identity anywhere else but in God. Father God is our creator. Just like when we see a new product and might be clueless as to how to use them, so are we if we were to try to find or make up our own identity. We will see vacuum cleaner who try to do the work of a tennis racket, an iron that's used as a phone ( Ouch! ), or a violin being played like a guitar. At times it's laughable, at other times it could be deadly dangerous, and some other times, it just a plain waste of the potential that those products have. That's the same with us. It will be a complete different matter if we ask the manufacturer. They will tel you that vacuum cleaner is used to vacuum the carpet in your living room, an iron is used to straightened your clothes, and in order for you to produce a beautiful melody out of your violin, you'd need to draw your bow across its strings rather than pluck it like a guitar. Only God, our manufacturer can give us our identity, our purpose. John 1: 12 clearly said that " to all who did receive Him
( Jesus), to those who believe in His name, He gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." Our identity is this... the children of God, His beloved.
Being in Taiwan is God's grace for me. Before coming to Taiwan I had always been involved with ministry of some sort. Small group leader, Sunday school teacher, worship team's pianist/keyboardist, bla bla bla. Due to my language limitation, I am not able to do the things that I would have done if I were to attend an English speaking or Indonesian speaking congregation. But you know what? This actually do me some good.
I have had some times of soul searching. I come face to face with myself. I started to see how I had attached my worth as a person to the things that I could do for God, or the things that I could do in general. When I could do nothing, then I grew to be frustrated, upset, and disillusioned. I started to feel like a failure. I felt like I amounted to nothing and all of those. But this confrontation was a good confrontation. That was God's purification for myself. Only when I knew how wrong I was then God could move freely to change those misconceptions with His truth.
As I struggle daily with my weakness, God's grace for me become more real than ever. Not only do I know that God's grace is upon me, but now, I realize how much I need it. I was stripped away from all the things that I take pride in just so that I could become more and more like Jesus. Less of "Grace" , more of Jesus.
I thank God for the freedom that I have in Him. It is better to be rebuked and corrected by God and having those mistakes straightened by God. God's rebuke brings about repentance, and repentance brings out renewal, growth, and life. I would rather be rebuked by God over and over and over and over, because I know God's truth sets me free.
-gRaCe-
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